Please people help me, I don’t know what to do and how to deal with all this…I’m just 15 years old, and I know very well that I’m a little bit sensitive to all the things that happen to me in my life but now I really have a problem… Actually the problem is linked with my father and I really would like to clarify some things… Recently I found out that he was diagnosed with Parkinson disease.. I didn’t expect that some disease could be so heartbreaking to me but this happened… The thing is that my dad is the only person in my life.. I never knew my mother because she died when I was 3 months old and during my entire life I saw just some pics of her. My dad is everything to me and when I found out about the disease I suddenly started to feel so bad and scared.. Scared not to be alone for my entire life. My dad was always a superhero for me and now I still can’t believe that he is so depressed now and that he is always tired. Before the disease I always could talk about all the problems that I have had, now I feel that I would like to help him with something but I can’t, it’s like he don’t want to talk with me about anything.. This is not the only problem that we have.. the second one is more serious.. I always thought that even if I can’t help then the doctors the neurologists would have to do this, but our neurologist seem not to care about my father’s health, every time we go to visit him, he seem to be very passive and none interested, like my father did not have the Parkinson but a simple cold or something like that.. All the time I talked with our neurologist he always told us that we have to get use with this problem and to start to treat this like a part of my father’s life… I know that in some words he is right but actually I don’t want to think about this like a problem that will persist all his entire life.. this is really difficult to afford and to accept and I think that it’s difficult to my father too, I’m sure about it. I have seen his face when he heard this and I understood that he started to feel so bad about this.
Of course our neurologist prescribed him a medication but talking seriously since the beginning I understood that this wouldn’t help my father and it didn’t.. I knew that we have to change it. After some months of using this drug we decided to talk with our doctor and to change it. He seemed to be very astonished about the entire situation and about my explanations, like he didn’t expected that the drug wouldn’t work for whatever the reason. The only thing that we expected that day was that our doctor will change the drug and soon my father will start to feel at least a little bit better. Unfortunately not… the only thing that he did was to increase the dosage of the drug.. I felt very disappointed and I can imagine what my father thought about this. I consider that most of the time he feel so depressed because he consider that nobody can help him to pass over this disease. The double dosage that our neurologist recommended to my dad was a very drastic one. 2 weeks after he started to use the double dosage I observed that he started to feel very bad, awful and he couldn’t walk anymore.. I’m very sorry that I forgot the name of the drug I really hope that soon I am going to remember the name and I’ll write it to you. He had told all of this to the neurologist, and he explained all the symptoms to him, but again after he heard all the explanations he told us to get used to it.. to get on with it because it will be forever like this…
How could he tell something like this.. how? We haven’t seen our neurologist for 2 months and during this time many things changed. My father started to feel worse and this is liked with different other health problems. He can’t sleep normally during the night he just wakes up during the night and just walk around our house.. this scares me so much and even though I want to help him so much it seems that I can’t, but it’s obvious… only with talk we won’t help somebody and won’t cure anything.. but what else I can? Some days ago when I was talking with him I notice that he started to notice some things that were linked with suicide problems… He is literally falling apart and the worst thing is that I can’t help him. I’m here because I’m desperate.. some time ago when I have had a problem I talked about this with my father, now that he’s sick I can’t talk with him about anything and I really need to talk with somebody. I need some help, some recommendations and comments. If there is somebody that have experienced the same things or that have parents, friends, relatives that experience the same thing please, I’m begging you to help me at least with the very little you have. I have to do something for him, to help him, to do at least something to make him feel better, he’s the most precious person in my life… HELP!